If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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