Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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