You're my little dorito
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
