alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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