dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I want her autograph on my taint
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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