Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So many bounce houses so little time
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
