we're chasing vodka with high fives
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
