Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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