if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
you inspire me to be a worse person
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
