Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize
