I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Randomize
