If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
