and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
