I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
