Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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