Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
