I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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