Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
