I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
