oh god the rape fog is back!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Randomize
