Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
