Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
