already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
