Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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