I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
that is very illegal...i love you.
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