the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
