walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
where are my pants?
in the oven.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
