look no pants
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
