Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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