you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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