The brown eye won't let me do that either.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
