Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
