so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
