the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
