Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
