Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He shit in the fireplace
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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