Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
