think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
