If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Bring me that man meat
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
