wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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