Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
