Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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