Welp...herpes.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
As shirtless as possible
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
