i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
