guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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