It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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