The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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