White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
