The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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