I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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