I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
