I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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